Growing up Barkemeijer

Growing up in the Barkemeijer de Wit family could be challenging.

Mom was bipolar, Dad suffered from Tourette's (the act stupid and make strange sounds kind that I also have) and seizures.

Mom claimed to be psychic, and deftly used her psychic visions to keep the family in line.

Mom to me ...
"I dreamt you were in a car accident during your trip to San Francisco." The force of my body drove you through the front window."

My thoughts at the time ...
(Yeah right Mom, like you could fit in the back seat of a Honda CVCC, let alone AGREE to sit in the back seat of ANY car.)

Mom to me ...
"So... I'M... NOT... GOING." In her most dramatic martyr's voice. (Pause for effect and inhale deeply) "So you won't die." Spoken in a soft half whisper.

Me to Mom ...
"Glad that's finally settled. Just so you know, a 12 hour drive in Michael's little Honda isn't my idea of fun. I really hadn't wanted to go, and had planned on staying home for my birthday."

Mom to Me ...
"Good good good. That's best for all."

Me to Mom...
"No Mom, now I have to go. If I don't, I'll always be a hostage to your visions and premonitions."

Mom to Me ...
"Mark my word, you'll loose your virginity and get pregnant.

Me to Mom ...
"Are you kidding! Not that it's any of your business, but I don't believe in sex before marriage. But I'm sure you could change my mind if you tried. Besides Mom, if I wanted to get laid that bad, I'd do it in the damned backyard."

For the record ...
I didn't lose my virginity during my birthday week end, and I never had sex in the backyard.