Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Should anyone Care about James Arthur Ray's Needs?

Every time I think there's nothing James Arthur Ray could ever say or do to shock or dismay me any more than I've been shocked or dismayed ::: I get side swiped by something new.

Here's a man ::: who for years ::: has been spending every free minute ::: promoting himself, his seminars, his books, his World Wealth Society (I could go on and on and on ::: but you get the picture) on television, on the web, at seminars, on the radio ::: ALL OVER THE WORLD.

Suddenly he's broke, his home repossessed  (he has multiple homes ::: which one?) his life is in shambles, his Mom has cancer, his Dad dementia.  Suddenly this one man teacher of all things success is the only person able to care for his parents ::: and needs to be home to do just that.

I'm not sure why he's living at his parent's home, but I'll give odds the true reason has more to do with convenience (closer to his L.A. lawyers) than a sudden desire to be a loving care taker. 

I've been a caregiver to both my parents (six years), my uncle (two years), my husband's parents (six years) and my brother-in-law (cancer).  I didn't have time to go out to fancy dinners, eat yummy sushi (while taking pictures), drink special coffee (again while taking pictures) twitter morning noon and night, sell BS products online, and keeping up with all my facebook friends.

When you don't have money ::: taking care of cancer, hear disease and just about any other serious disease is a 24 hour a day job.  If you're broke, you sometimes go hungry so your parents can eat (4 days out of the month I did), you wear old clothing, you sleep when you can and struggle to get by.

I did CPR on my Uncle when his heart gave out.  Four years later I did CPR on my Dad the night his heart exploded.  For five years after Dad's death I cared for my Mom alone, eventually leaving my job to care for her.  I stayed up countless nights while my Mom went in and out of congestive heart failure.  When I fractured my leg I had no health insurance, and no way to get care.  I treated my leg with ace bandages and ice bags.

I did the Heimlich on my Father-in-law when an 800mg Motrin tab lodged in his windpipe.  Fed him around the clock when his intestines lost much of their ability to absorb food after open heart surgery. Cleansed him around the clock when he developed MRSA.  Spent the better part of five years fighting to keep him alive.  When my brother-in-law developed cancer, I helped care for him as well.  My husband and I held him in our arms as he took his last breath (six months after his father died).

Upon seeing me for the first time, fat, tired, worried about my father-in-law's health, semi bald and barely able to walk ::: James Arthur Ray told me I'd never be anything but a fat slob and a looser if I didn't sign up for his seminar.  Stupid, clueless and hurtful.  He surely doesn't sound much like a loving and nurturing caregiver to me.

Please forgive me ::: but I just don't buy it ::: not for a second.  While I'm sincerely sorry for his parent's current physical challenges ::: their illness doesn't take away the fact that James Arthur Ray's actions caused the deaths of three people ::: THAT WE KNOW OF.

Because of James Arthur Ray's actions: James Shore died and left a wife and children ::: I don't hear James Arthur Ray offering to pay for their education, housing or medical care.

Because of James Arthur Ray's actions: Liz Neuman died and left a loving family ::: a husband who still misses and needs his wife ::: children who weren't ready to loose their Mom.   Liz will never be able to see her grandchildren, and do a myriad of other things which fall under the heading of being a Mom.

Because of James Arthur Ray's actions: Kirby Brown died and left a loving family.  She will never watch her family grow, never have children of her own, never again hug her Mom, her Dad, her Sister or her Brother.

Because of James Arthur Ray's actions: Colleen Conaway is dead ::: the truth of what happened that day forever shrouded in mystery.

James Arthur Ray would have the world believe he is not a violent man.  Violence comes in many forms ::: not all of them blatant or in your face.  Some of the worst violence has been that which creeps in subtly under the guidance of a bully.

How many people have to die or be injured before James Arthur Ray is finally seen as a violent and dangerous man?  How much lower can this beast of a man go before hitting rock bottom?  Why should any of us care about him or his needs, when he so obviously doesn't give a God Damn about anyone else's needs but his own.

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