Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Woohooo am I tired ...

I cried a again today ::: damned stupid Mistrial Hearing ::: a lot.

I should have known better ::: trusted my own gut ::: not allow the bullshit words from a bunch of bullshit news commentators get to me.

The Mistrial hearing was over and I had In Session on in the background. Just curious ::: trying to see if there was any news from Judge Darrow. I had twitter open and was reading over posts ::: answering tweets ::: trying to sort through what was going on ::: when I ran across James Arthur Ray's victory Tweet.

Judge ruled it was Brady... That's in our favor. Now he needs to decide what to do. Woohooo!! ~ @JamesARay

Woohooo!!! ???

The slimy bastard couldn't wait to gloat ::: couldn't wait to let everyone who thought he was toast know otherwise.


At about the same time, some nameless faceless retired judge was on the phone to In Session giving her opinion as to the state of James Arthur Ray's Trial :::

DOA - Obvious Mistrial

Beth Karas - One of In Sessions Team was making the same benediction. Trial DOA - Obvious Mistrial.

Even Vinnie Politan - Whom I used to admire - was sort'a kind'a reciting the same obvious mistrial jibber jabber as almost everyone else.

Someone who called in stated "If I were Judge I'd declare a mistrial and then give the DA her walking papers." Are some people really that clueless???!!!

Something about James Arthur Ray's victory Woohooo made my stomach churn and gave me an instant migraine. Yeah yeah yeah, I only met the bastard once ::: and never signed up for any of his paying events ::: BUT I WOULD HAVE. In a heartbeat.

I can still hear the arrogance in James Arthur Ray's voice when he cut me down four years ago.

You know I survived a lot of shit in my life. Child abuse, neglect, rape, physical assault ::: and that's just the stuff I'm willing to talk about. There was more ::: lots more. Couple my nightmare childhood with chronic physical illness and you get a small idea of what I've had to deal with ::: grow past.

When I met James Arthur Ray I'd thought I had made my peace with most of that stuff. I worked my fat ass off to get past it ::: took therapy ::: got an education ::: made myself a great life, with a great career.

When I met James Arthur Ray I'd been ill for years ::: I was just starting to regain my health. The wheelchair was gone. I was walking again (with a walker), seeing people again, CHOOSING LIFE again ::: after being told there was no hope ::: I was slowly dying (NOT).

I'd read James Arthur Ray's book and wanted to meet him ::: to see if he had anything to help me heal and move forward faster. But he shot me down when he learned I had no money. Such brutal words from a stranger ::: his words took my breath away ::: I wanted to run (I physically could not) and I wanted to die.

I don't know why I cared so much about what James Arthur Ray thought about me ::: but I did. I only know while listening to him tell me what a looser I was ::: and would always be ::: I wanted to die.

During that moment ::: while hearing his words ::: I felt as if my soul were made of glass. I still don't understand my response that evening. I only know he ::: James Arthur Ray ::: knew he had shattered me to the core ::: then smiled.

I had the same response when I first read about the deaths at Spiritual Warrior 2009. I wept for hours that day ::: for the wounded and the dead.

The idea that this creature ::: James Arthur Ray ::: who calls himself a teacher and a life coach ::: could wield so much power over so many people ::: filled me with despair. That the media cared more about the Balloon Boy hoax ::: than the deaths of three people ::: was almost more than I could comprehend. It seemed as if no one cared and that James Arthur Ray would continue on forever.

After reading James Arthur Ray's stupid tweet - I was flooded with grief.

grief for the victims ::: grief for the survivors ::: grief for all family members forced to face his ::: James Arthur Ray's ::: blatant disregard of those taken from them.

After listening to the Judge on In Session ::: I mean you gotta respect and believe a Judge ::: I thought the trial must be over. I thought all justice was lost ::: so ::: idiot that I am ::: I cried ::: again.

After I calmed down a bit ::: I started to pray.

I prayed that Kirby Brown, James Shore, Liz Neuman and Colleen Conaway are at peace.

I prayed that the families of these people eventually find peace and solace.

I prayed that James Arthur Ray is never never allowed to harm anyone again.

I heard one of my friends telling me "the trial isn't over yet Jeanne, so stop crying and do something constructive. Judge Darrow wouldn't let it end this way."

So I got up off my tired old ass and made my husband a hot lunch. He's sick in bed with the flu. When I finished cooking, Judge Darrow had posted his ruling. The carnival starts again in the morning.

Sorry Vinnie, but I don't think I'm ever going to watch In Session again. Oh and I twittered James Arthur Ray.

@JamesARay The Law of Attraction WORKS!!! Your friend Brady just bit you in the WooHooo!! See ya tomorrow #JamesRay


  1. That was very touching.

    I got the same sick feeling in my stomach when I saw that "Woohoo" tweet also. He will be stopped and I can only pray his minions learn their lesson as well.

  2. I love this blog and your heartfelt, intelligent sharing. fwiw the ONE person I heard all day in the courthouse speaking with neutrality (sort of) on this was of all people Tom Kelly who said "it could be a 2 hour delay or a mistrial" "Brady violations happen all the time in court". That was worth the eavesdropping. Tru TV has been missing the mark all week on this. What's wrong with those commentators? For real? ::shakingmyhead:::
    I'll be there tomorrow again and interested in the REAL DEAL vs. the crap being served on Tru TV lately. Come on Vinnie, you're better than that..really.

    Thanks for this post.

  3. Yesterday was a tough day, and this is such a sweet post. Thank you for sharing. Your pain and the way you triumph over it is really remarkable.

    I had a uncomfortable perception of James Ray before the sweat lodge -- but not something I could put my finger on. When the Secret came out, I loved the movie, but there were a couple of teachers that just got under my skin. James was one of them. So being the seeker that I am, I took the time to find out more about James Ray and why he bothered me. It was to find out if I was holding back some type of resentment, or some past pain.

    I went to his website, bought a couple of books, listened to ALL of his podcasts, and was on a few of his hard sell conference calls. I almost went to his "free" seminar when he was in Atlanta. Even though I began to like some of what he said, there was always things that bothered me.

    First, on his audio, he was much too polished. He said the same thing, at the same time, with the same delivery. It was too precise. After hearing the same corny lines delivered with the same sheepish grin it began to look more sinister to me.

    Second, the hard sell was really obvious. Sometimes I lament that these so-called gurus disappoint me but then I realize, it is this disappointment that keeps me away from them.

    I can tell that James hurt you deeply, but he really only told you something about himself. About what a terrible, evil human James Ray had become. It had nothing to do with you. Good luck to you with your triumph over the past pain.